Friday, April 1, 2022

True Confessions

They say confession is good for the soul. I'm not sure quilting confessions is part of that equation, but as some of you know I've been reluctant to make quilts lately.

So what is the beef. I have been considering why I'm no longer inspired to quilt. There have been a couple of factors. First my hubby has had some heart issues which started about two and half years ago. Big time worry for me. Taking him to Doctors, tests, and some minor surgery has really taxed me out. Adding to that, very expensive medicines have added to the stress. 

Secondly, I have lost my love of quilting. And I think it is mostly because I find myself thinking, WHY am I doing this? I have been quilting for a longtime. Over 30 years! I think it all started when someone I know, who is a great quilter, would make quilts for friends of mine who I had planned to gift a quilt. Pretty frustrating when she asked me if I was planning on making a quilt for my DIL who was expecting a baby. OF COURSE I was! I think she did end up making a quilt for them anyway. 


Thirdly, I have made quilts for people and have witnessed the quilt not being loved. I love every quilt that someone made for me!  But once, my daughter saw online someone selling a quilt I made for, get this, $15! A quilt that was made with $10 a yard fabric, and all the love that went into it because it was for a special girl. 

In a way it has really hurt my heart to not enjoy the hobby I loved most. I am not a fancy quilter, but it would give me pleasure to give a quilt to someone and hoped they liked it. Because I don't want the quilt I especially made for someone to end up as a dog bed!

Please don't think I am being vain. I just hate to think that all that labor and time spent is just for someone to think it is a bunch of rags. I was making baby quilts for Hands2Help , before my mishap, because I think they will be love, at least for a little while.

If you would like a simple pattern, Mari offers one HERE!


Quiltermary said...

It makes me sad to read this ... you sound sad. The last 2+ years have been a challenge, for sure.

JustGail said...

Vain? Not at all, no way. People who don't appreciate the time, effort, and money that goes into our quilts don't deserve them. They can get their polyester imported low quality mass produced bedding everyone else has at big box chain stores.

I know people say once a gift is given, it's not your place to say what happens to it. But it is your place to decide what gifts will be in the future. I wouldn't mind if the dog lays on a quilt I made on the sofa or bed, or if the recipient gave it to a friend who loved or needed it. But to see put it in the dog bed, or sold for cheap at a garage sale - I'd not be happy and they'd get no more quilts from me.

As to not being a fancy quilter, neither am I. And I don't aspire to be one either, at least not right now. No disrespect to those that do make art quilts - they are lovely and I do love to look at them. Right now, I want quilts to cuddle up in, add color to a room, and keep warm in winter. Quilts my new GD can spit up on, drag on the floor, make forts to play in, and get makeup stained crying with joy at passing that calculus final. Those are quilts I wouldn't mind if they turn to rags from use!

I have no answer what to do about getting your desire to quilt back. Hopefully your shoulder will heal soon, and you can get back to the Hands2Help quilts. Maybe time is the only solution?

Allie said...

You know girl, I've been thinking that for the past two years. I gave away most of my fabric, stopped blogging, and put all my sewing stuff away out of sight to see if the urge would come back. It did not. I loved it when I did it, but somehow, I don't know how, it was time to move on. I'm still working on a quilt for my best friend's daughter, it was one she started before she died, and I've been hand quilting it - but now, with my own shoulder messed up after my fall, I can't touch it. I also have a baby quilt to finish for her son.
Will I ever get back to it? I don't know. It's taken me two years to get over the guilt, but now that I am, and have moved on to watercolors and drawing, it's such a sense of relief. If I hadn't lost my best friend, my quilting buddy, would I still be doing it? I've kept enough fabric to finish two quilts I had started, and that's it - we'll see how long I hang onto that, lol. It's ok for a change, sometimes we have to reevaluate how we spend our time. Hobbies can come and go. If the love is lost, you can't force it - take some time to consider what else you might want to do. Especially now that you have the time - I am praying for your healing, dear Jocelyn!

Darlene S said...

I will confess I made a quilt for my eldest sister, many years ago. Shortly after gifting it to her, I found the quilt in her garage for the dog to sleep on. Needless to say, I've never made her another quilt and never will.

Anonymous said...

I completely understand what you are saying and sometimes feel the same way. Please consider that the person who bought your quilt for $15 may have been the one it was "meant" for. Sometimes we have to release our joy, our love and our projects out to the world and they find their way to where they are meant to comfort. Imagine you love your doggie to pieces and make them a doggie bed out of something beautiful and it gives you as much pleasure as it would give you to make the quilt in the first place. Sometimes you just have to enjoy making them and believe they will bring joy to many hearts over their lifespan and find their way to the home they were meant for. Don't let not having control over where they go zap the joy out of controlling how they come to be in the first place. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

dortha said...

I totally understand. I made a quilt for a family member that was expecting a baby and when the mom-to-be opened it she didn’t even look at it. Another family member said what is it and the mom-to-be said “it is just a blanket.” The other family member picked it up looked and said “ my son has one she made for him and we treasure it.” The mom-to-be still never even looked at it. It made me lose my mojo for a long time. I make for Project Linus now. Still some sadness about quilt giving. I am sorry your husband is not in good health and I hope your shoulder mends fast.

Elaine Adair said...

I'm sorry to hear your mojo, or enthusiasm or ??? has disappeared - perhaps it ran its course, or perhaps your brain is overloaded with issues of your husband's illness. Either way, it's OK. First things first, but don't beat yourself about the loss of enthusiasm. Just take care of yourself, your DH, and your own purpose these days.

We make quilts because the process gives us pleasure. It's sad that such loveliness may not be appreciated by all - you did your part, the receiver is supposed to do her/his part. We've all been there. Take pleasure in what you did, learned, your own skill and talent. Maybe something new is just around the corner! And take care of DH AND your self.

Carline said...

I know how ou feel. I spent nearly a year making a king sized quilt for my grandson's wedding. They picked the colors which were not a pleasure to work on but it was their choice. I had to mail it to them accross country due to Covid so that was a great expense. All in all I had spent nearly $500. and just about that many hours on this quilt. I had asked them to let me know when the quilt arrived. Not only did I have to call to see if it had been "lost" in the mail but not one word of thanks. It took the wind out of my quilting sails and I haven't quilted much since. I am just finishing a few things and quiting.

Brenda said...

Hello Jocelyn... It is unfathomable to me why someone wouldn't love a quilt. As we all know, there are those out there who do not have a deep admiration of the history, the skill, and the hours of love and labor that go into a quilt. I personally feel sorry for them for the joy they are missing out on. I say, make quilts for those in need. I for one have been thinking about making some for the local animal shelters. Why not? A cozy quilt that moves with the abandoned pets from the beginning of the scariest point of their life to the transition into a loving home... A constant in an otherwise chaotic life. The same could be said for the various other quilting clubs who donate to those in need and hospitals. I cannot say enough about the joy a fellow coworker felt when her child had a terrible accident and received a quilt while he healed. Her thoughts were priceless. I often reflect on who took the time to make that lovely quilt. I saw it and the craftsmanship was amazing!

As far as your loss of desire, it reminds me of the stress and pressures from extra jobs thrown on me at work and the sickness of a family member along with it. I live for my art. My college education centered around fine art in a graphite form. In truth, I have so many areas of art that I love it would tire everyone for me to list them here. But I find when I am under a great deal of stress, the stress takes away my ability to have interest in any of my artistic endeavors. Giving myself impossible questions to answer, such as, why would I do any art in any form and to what avail? Perhaps, this is an underlying form of depression... I don't know. At any rate, when my "extra jobs" were let go by me and the grieving of my family member began to subside ever so slightly, my stress subsided to a manageable level, and my love of art returned like an old friend. Reassured the same will happen for you.

Best Wishes!


Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

I 'adopt' most quilts I find in the thrift stores because I know what goes into those quilts. I limit who I quilt for, since I want my quilts to be appreciated and used. My son's both watched me learn how to quilt, and they and my grandkids LOVE the quilts I make for them. When I hand quilted, I kept track of the amount of hours I spent just hand quilting, then told the recipient how many hours of hand quilting went into that quilt. At least if they knew that I'd spent that many hours just hand quilting their quilt, then hopefully they would appreciate the quilt more.